For your own peace of mind nghĩa là gì

At the end of a Tongue Fu! workshop, I put up a slide with an adaptation of Roosevelt's quote that said, 'No one can make us mad without our consent.'

A gruff construction boss stood up and said, 'Sam, you have no idea who I have to deal with. Do you mean if someone’s in my face yelling at me, that’s not supposed to make me mad?'

A woman in that workshop raised her hand and said, 'I agree with Eleanor's quote because I’ve lived through it. I’m a surgical nurse. I work with a neurosurgeon who’s the most abrasive individual I’ve ever met. He’s a brilliant physician; he has zip people skills.

Last year, I was a fraction of a second late handing him an instrument in surgery. He berated me in front of my peers. It took all my professionalism just to continue with the operation and not walk out.

Driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd done. I was still fuming when we sat down for dinner. I told my husband what happened and said, ‘That doctor makes me so MAD.'

My husband had heard this before. He said, ‘Judy, what time is it?’

I looked at him, wondering what that had to do with anything. ‘7 o’clock.’

‘What time did this happen?’

‘9 o’clock this morning.’

He said, ‘Judy, is it the doctor who’s making you mad?’

And with that, he got up and left the dinner table.

I sat there and thought about it.

I realized, it wasn’t the doctor who was making me mad.

The doctor wasn’t even in the room.

I was the one who had given him a ride home in my car.

I was the one who had set him a place at my dinner table.

I decided that never again was that doctor welcome in my home or in my head. I was leaving him at the hospital and never again giving him the power to poison my personal life.'

At first, the group sat there in stunned silence after Judy shared her story. Then, we had a powerful discussion about how NOT to let difficult people ruin our day (life?)

A Realtor said, "I read a story in Readers Digest about a woman who was puzzled by a ritual her neighbor had. When he pulled into his driveway every night, he'd get out of his call, walk over to the tree in front of his house, fiddle with it, and then walk inside. She finally asked what he was doing.

He explained he used to come home upset and dump all his work problems on his family. He decided to to tie his troubles to the tree outside instead of taking them inside and making everyone miserable. I do the same thing with the rose bush by my front door now. It helps."

An attendee in that workshop named Al emailed a week later to report how he and his wife had acted on this idea. "We used to rehash what happened at work while eating dinner. We weren't enjoying each other because all we did was gripe about what went wrong that day.

We agreed to establish a moratorium on work conversations. We each get 15 minutes to purge whatever stressed us out that day. That's it. We spend 10 hours a day on the job and commuting. We want the 4 hours we have at home every night to be an oasis from all that."

How about you? Do you deal with difficult people at work?

Do you take them home with you? Do you give them a ride in your car? Do you set a place for them at your dinner table?

Can you decide you will no longer give difficult people the power to poison your personal life? Can you leave stressors at work and make you home an oasis from all that?

If you're thinking, "I agree with this in theory, and I want/need pragmatic tips of what to say in the moment when people are rude. Got it. You can learn exactly what to say and do when people are disrespecting you in these Tongue Fu! training videos.

The point of this post is to focus on how to, as Meryl Streep says, "guard your good mood."

Victor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning, said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

You may not be able to choose who you work with. You do choose how much time you spend dwelling on their egregious behavior and letting them hijack your peace of mind.

You might want to ask family members what rituals you can create to make your precious time at home constructive (vs. destructive).

You might want to adopt one of these quotes and repeat it to yourself when you're feeling "down" so you and others don't suffer from mood swings.

Discuss this post with loved ones and review the quotes together.

Get clear that rehashing toxic events imprints and perpetuates their negative impact.

Instead of telling yourself, "I can't stop thinking about what what happened," switch your attention to someone who respected you, supported you, encouraged you.

Instead of mentally giving negative people a piece of your mind, give yourself peace of mind by choosing to focus on who and what is right with your world.

And if you're thinking, "This is Pollyanna," good.

As Esther Hicks said, "Pollyanna led a very happy life."

Quotes To Reclaim Our Peace of Mind vs. Giving People a Piece of Our Mind

1. "Drag your thoughts away from your troubles - by the ears, by the heels, any way you can manage it; it's the healthiest thing a body can do." - Mark Twain

2. "Are we to be controlled by accidents, by tyrants, or by ourselves?" - B. F. Skinner

3. "Life may give you a cactus. You don't have to sit on it." - Joyce Meyer

4. "The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, be one." Mother Teresa

5. "Your greatest work of art is the story you tell about yourself." - Tara Conklin

6. "Tell me to what you pay attention, and I will tell you who you are." Jose Ortega y Gasset

7. "Do not let people pull you into their storm, pull them into your peace." - Pema Chodron

8. "Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway." - Emory Austin

9. "Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces when coming into contact with the very first rock." - Mahatma Gandhi